November 29, 2010

My One Poem for Lala...

This is something I wrote my ex in the first couple months of the relationship, when everything was sweet and rosy and not full of lies and betrayal. When there was SO MUCH hope and un-damned love...un-dammed love. I don't think I ever shared it with you guys. It's not GREAT but...if you repeat it a few times it rolls off the tongue nicely. It may be the only poem I ever wrote her...I cant remember. I haven't gone back through those files in....yeah. But this one...has been comin to mind lately. It helps that I have it engraved into the side of my brain. I even made her memorize it at some point. I thought it might help us. I don't think it helped us. That's the kicker. I wrote this....Before EVERYTHING, before all the turmoil, laid out my intentions before her, clear as could be in black on white. A map of my love drawn out in a few words. The fact that it came to have even more weight and significance for me and us later on though is a trip. It's like my intuition was at work behind my back when I penned this, or maybe I just KNEW there were troubled waters under that beautifully controlled surface....but I underestimated their depths. Everybody's got issues, right?! Yeah, NO, some people have WAY WORSE issues than others. Let that be known! I'm not sayin she's still that way now, I'm just sayin she was that way then. I'm just sayin I wrote this for her, for HER HEART and she never got it. Never appreciated it...never understood how much it meant. How much love I was declaring in this declaration every time I whispered it to her. What a waste huh? Anyway...

All I wanna do is give the gift of love to lift you up
well above the riffs that rub and rip you up
well above the tiffs that tug and trip you up
til there's little left of what you truly love
about yourself or anyone else you know
cuz what we've felt has dealt the hardest blow
enough to melt a heart at sub-zero
til it PARTS
And a warm river starts to flow
that waters every part of you that wants to grow

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