Montecristo Poem Preface

Okay, umm, I'm not sure how I wanna do this. Lately I've been doin that thing where I put the poem in one post and the story behind it in another...guess I like that, but I'm not sure if there's that much to say. But...knowing my fingers, I'll type that now and five paragraphs will still magically follow. We'll see.

So last night was pretty awesome. If I were a pornstar and saying that, you'd know this blog post would be some damn good reading material, but since I am just "The Poet," you are more than welcome to skip down to the bottom and click on the link to take you to THE POEM. This is just for me and my friends back home who don't know what the hell I'm doin. And anyone else who might be curious. But yes, last night, AWESOME. Times like...TWENTY I would say.

(photo: sergio del amo)

Another opportunity to perform some performance poetry at BED FREAKIN SUPPERCLUB befell upon me. For those of you that don't know, Bed Supperclub is this really awesome club/venue in this city. The word "Premier" definitely comes to mind. And I got to take the mic and sling some verse like it ain't no thang, even though it TOTALLY Is a "Thang." Like a really awesome thing! And I went HARD too. Last time was all jokes and boobies, this time I was grabbin people by the ears a bit. I say a bit cuz I can definitely drop more serious verse than this, but for a lot of these people never seein me before, this was probably pretty heavy. I'm pretty sure Bed is a stranger to slam poetry, but I am doing my best to acquaint it VERY well :)). And I did it allllright! Couple little mistakes in there, but...no biggie. The people were very gracious and receptive. I was kinda nervous, I think it gets a little easier every time, so the nerves didn't entirely get to me, but fuck...it was a cool little crowd of people and I was in the dead center of it all and the first one to get their attention! Phew, what an experience! It lit me up. 

(photo: madebytommy)

Anyway, this opportunity I think was directly related to the Breast Cancer event, cuz it was after that that the man behind last night talked to me about doin somethin for his event (Montecristo). I was like HOLLLAAAA! Especially cuz it's a cause/charity that I was well familiar with since another friend put together a fundraiser for it (Change for Siam) at the beginning of the year and clued us all in. The foundation is called Future Light and it's basically one orphanage housing about 40 kids/refugees near the Thai-Burmese border. And this whole thing was set up a few years ago by a then 25 year-old woman whom we shall call J. Lo. Because that's her name. Okay, her name is Jennifer Lo, but...same difference! And WAY cooler. Despite not having all the latin flavor/booty we've come to associate with that name. But since she's helpin orphans n' all, we'll let her roll with it. ;)

(boom shakalaka! look at all that booty! ;-)

So yeah, one of the guys behind Bed Supper (Junior) has been involved in the foundation, wanted to do his fair share, and put together a pretty damn cool event to raise money and goods for the kids. He asked me to write something for it, I said I'd be happy to, and from that moment knew what I wanted to do, cuz I already had this little nugget (about 5 lines) about kids, just sittin in my notes, waitin for me to manifest the rest of it and make it whole. (Bet you can't guess which fives lines it was :p) Once he told me the deal, I got all excited, pulled out the chunk and started willing it to grow. It happened pretty easily. Finished it about a week ago, plenty of time to practice it and get it down, and last night I opened the event with it. And this time I was even smart enough to bring my own video camera and have someone film it for me. Wooflippinhoo!


And like I said, it went well. I probably could've done it little better (just bein honest), but nobody expects me to be perfect but me, so...it's all good! Thanks to everybody who was there last night, thanks again to Junior and Jen for...lots of things, so I guess I'll just say for being awesome (awwwww, that's nice ;). I would say thanks to ALL my friends who came but only like one of you did! Lol, smh, I mean, I didn't invite many, but still...no points for you :p. But yeah, thanks for readin, and bein there "in spirit." *eye roll* ;) (Don't worry people who don't know me, I'm totally allowed to give my friends shit, we're cool like that. :D)

Hey, guess what, I'm gonna end this differently! This poem is pretty crazy. In terms of poetry, it's very liberal (#nopolitico) and crazy in its structure. Basically it's another one of my Frankenstein's Monsters of a poem, just somethin I threw together with complete freedom but felt fit together and was able to bring to life. Throughout the process of writing it (which maybe someday I'll elaborate upon), there came a handful of pieces that didn't make it in to the actual poem. They just didn't work or didn't flow well, but were still born of the same inspirational stardust. I'm gonna end this blog with those scraps. Why not. I may use em someday, I may not, I never know. But if you read this far, then you might as well get some little tidbits of poetry from "Behind the scenes." (Oh yeah, don't you feel cooler now? You know stuff other people probably don't know. ;) And I say good for you!

As always, thanks for joinin me on this journey, friends and neighbors. This year has been the best year of my life. This is just one more reason and one more piece of proof showing that. I hope you can see it, cuz it's pretty frickin cool where I'm sitting.

...dreams are coming true.

Cheers!

_________________________________________________________________

the human race is like an ocean
but you would never know it
so many imaginary lines
on the surface and far below it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
we have to teach them better
and show them there’s a better way
mind body, heart and soul
should have an equal say

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
...and every bomb gives birth to 20 terrorists

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
as it is we’ve given most the heart to the women
and most the body to men
and now they’re both fighting over the mind
while the soul sits off to the side, watching
goin “what the fuck is happening?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
We protect them from the wrong things
when we “protect” them from those truths

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
every kid that learns is much less likely
to kill or to be killed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And finally, the actual poem: Like Water, Like Son. Enjoy.

Hey LAYDEES!

I got somethin for ya!

And with a smile like that you know it's gonna be gooood, right?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

HA! I tease but I tell no lies! Word.

Word to your beautiful mothers of course!

LOL! Excuse me while I entertain myself! With ANY luck maybe I can make you smile as well.

Let's get to the point of all this tail wagging, shall we?

One thing I did productively this weekend was crack open my LAST poetry notebook for the first time in ages. I did this on the ride home from the island. It was a fairly crazy experience! I haven't looked in that thing for years, hell I've HARDLY written in it FOR YEARS. Which is terribly sad to say. Lemme make it clear why...

My poetry notebook was once the only thing I ever wrote in. From the time I got my first one (which I also just opened and looked at for the first time in YEARS!) in 1995 to the time I bought the last one, I ALWAYS had a notebook that I took with me everywhere! How far I have fallen. How far have I fallen? Lemme tell ya!

It used to be that I would FILL a notebook like the one I have now EVERY YEAR! Maybe every year and a half, but that's still Quite a bit of writing in not a ton of time. This notebook I have now I bought shortly after I moved to Oregon, in 2005. Since then, In the course of FIVE FREAKING YEARS, I have filled maybe a fifth of it! Freaking SAD.

Here's the good news though, the part that involves you wonderful feminine figures in my life. It turns out a lot of the stuff in there is basically LOVE POETRY! Yeah. Wow. Not something I write often, not something I really like to write at all, but the first few pages of that notebook have SEVERAL pieces, some of which I barely remember writing! Some of which I may not have even shared! And you know what, by my estimation, they're not half bad.

I am kinda hoping you will be so kind as to give me a more accurate opinion of their merit or quality though. You think you could do that? I would appreciate it. I would love it if you didn't hold back your reactions, IF you have any. It would help me know which ones to keep on file/shop for publication and which ones to...donate to the internet! Free of Charge! Out of the kindness of my heart of course. ;)

Seriously though, if you feel it, if it's got somethin, lemme know, someway somehow. I don't care. It'd be cool know which ones pop AND it'd be cool to know who likes what as well :). I'll start posting them on my new blog soon. And Mr. Guys....Try Not to HATE! Just TRY. :)

As for why I was writing so much like that at that point in time.....It's hard to say. Looking at it now, looking at those pages, at the version of me who was writing those things and feeling all of that, it looks like my heart was going crazy. And I kinda say that with sadness. My heart was just going nuts with emotions and overflowing feeling. NO WONDER I wanted out of America so bad! God I was a mess. Part of it, however, was cuz I came to Portland a still-wounded animal from the relationship that burned the hell out of me in Phoenix. I wasn't over her, not at all, and being that it was months later, I WANTED to BE! And So I was throwing myself, my heart at the window of any woman who paid me attention and calmed me with a kind tender kiss. Half of those windows weren't even open. Think I even broke one or two. Damn fool I was.

BUT! At least I was writing. At least I was writing. My saving grace. Literally. My saving grace. And here I am, closing one of the biggest circles of my life, able to firm-footedly share the turbulent times of my heartfelt existence one poem or one story at a time. Not with pride, not with shame, just with earnestness, with a somber look in my eye that says, "look, see what I used to be? So wild and weak. That was me, beautiful and sad at the same time. I am not that way anymore. But it doesn't scare me to remember, especially if it doesn't scare you."

thank you for reading